July & August Review, September Forecast

Better late than never!

July Review

I am acutely aware of how late my monthly report is and I do sincerely apologise. 

I have come to understand there are finite hours in a day and limitations to what I can do. Despite my best efforts, I still cannot do all the things I want by the end of each day. Prioritisation is a skill I’m still learning and as important as it is to be transparent and accountable to my community, I do not need to write monthly posts to progress my project but there are things I need to do to progress my project. I write this post now because if I delay any further then I’ll have dishonored my word. Trust with my community is not only important but needed for this project to succeed. The Eisenhower Matrix is one framework that I’m using to help me learn prioritisation and to get the most of my days.

Speaking of days, July was a month I was growing increasingly frustrated by the day to no one's fault but my own. Patience is a virtue I am also still learning and having to wait on anyone, no matter how reasonably, continues to vex me with restlessness. I wanted to start interviews with sex workers, but I also didn’t want to post my expression of interest forms until I had the green light from my team, and people on my team were sick with COVID-19. I had so many other things to do and so the wait was tolerable, but as the days elapsed, I felt further agitated.

But it’s a good thing I waited as long as I did, because if I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to draw upon the expertise of Starburst Insights who, for low-bono, were able to support me through the qualitative market research phase.

So let’s go through what I went through for July.

• After much back and forth, I finally released my expression of interest forms and in a whopping turn of events, had over 100 sex workers return expressions of interest forms. I hadn’t even advertised it on this blog yet!

• Starburst Insights who specialise with qualitative interviews, offered low-bono advice and support with the Empathise stage of my process. I cannot even explain how invaluable their guidance was.

• Before I released the expression of interest forms, I was so desperate to get the ball rolling that I made a callout for sex workers to test prototypes. And while I had a positive response, I have yet to make use of these volunteers. More on that later.

• I met with my fellow Fellows online, which is super cute because we are always trying to support each other as much as we can.

• Presented on a panel to help fundraise for She’s a Crowd. I met so many amazing women doing so many amazing things and I felt non-sex workers were willing to support my work in whichever way the could. This is so contrary to my previous experience with sex workers who often demonised and ostracised me. This led me into networking into other women-led events and celebrations, which is a really great space to tap into and draw support from.

• I attended workshops hosted by organisations that work with sex workers including overdose response training and barriers in reporting with SWOP NSW, Red Rendezvous with RhED, decriminalisation monthly meetings with DecrimQLD. The idea here was that I feel my presence demonstrates my commitment to other advocates. I’m hyper-independent, so I don’t ask for help, and I’m also autistic which means I avoid social situations, and that generally results in me being absent in advocacy spaces. While this is consistent with my character, I wanted to show that I mean business when I say I’m here to help sex workers, and I feel stepping out of my comfort zone and being physically present is one way to illustrate this.

• I met with my autistic contact to better understand why I do the things I do and discuss ideas on how to work more effectively and efficiently within this neurotypical world.

• I partook in coffee and cake with the staff at Project Respect and don’t worry, I have two blog posts upcoming about this.

• I researched, networked and connected. This included connecting with the domestic violence sector, to academics researching the intersection of technology and sex work, to sex workers outside of Australia employing different harm-minimisation strategies, to sex workers within the technology space, to other kind of gig workers and their harm-minimisation strategies.

• I am slowly adding to a list of things that need to get done for sex workers, some of which is outside the scope of this Fellowship, but all of which I believe needs to be done by *somebody*. I will try to be that somebody as much as this Fellowship allows since no one else is jumping up and taking responsibility for these things.

• I attended a For Purpose networking event on the actual correct date this time. I completed an interesting exercise that looked at workplace culture and how to change it. Since I don’t really work within a typical workplace, I used the exercise to look at the culture of sex workers as it unfolds online, since that’s mostly where we connect to each other. It was fascinating putting words and unpacking the social codes and hierarchy that confused my autistic brain for so long. If anyone is interested, I’m happy to post this exercise in this blog.

• I finalised my ethics application into academic research for the occupational health and safety of sex workers only to be informed that my Fellowship specifically stipulates that it does not support academic research. I was a bit gutted but I felt the ethics process really helped me conceptualise my approach and do a literature review. This forced me to operate at a higher standard than I otherwise would have and therefore I am grateful to have completed this exercise. I even tested my interview questions on a fellow sex worker, and this helped me review my interview style.

• After waiting nearly a month to hear back from my local sex worker organisation Vixen, my impatience got the better of me and I marched into drop-in Thursdays. I was greeted by familiar and new faces and I had a casual yarn about my work. I was also keenly interested to hear how the organisation was shaping up now that funding was in the picture. The exchange was helpful for me because I found words to articulate some of my thoughts, which I was struggling to do within the vacuum of my own mind. I was also able to schedule a meeting to connect again at a later date. 

• I made a LinkedIn account to connect with other professionals. I still don’t quite know how to use it but it’s here if anyone wants to add me (be my friend? Connect? What’s the correct verb here), then please feel free..

My areas of weakness continue to be developing a social media strategy and a system to organise my expenses. My Instagram and Twitter game is strong despite my account being censored to some extent (that’s what I tell myself to feel better about not having a steady increase of followers). I want to get into TikTok and LinkedIn, but I need to set a day aside to get the ball rolling. I have all the ideas and equipment, I just need to execute it. If anyone is confident on any of these social media platforms and is willing to spend a day helping me get started, I would graciously accept the help because at this point I just keep avoiding it. With blog writing, I often do it but I never finish anything that I’m writing about. Similarly, I need to set a day aside to get my expenses clearly documented because at the moment I am just filing things away in a chaotic fashion.

August Review

Typically I would forecast the next month but considering August is nearly over, I might as well just review it. 

August was the month I got into the nitty gritty part of researching sex workers to inform the next stage of my process. The idea here was to collect qualitative data, to go as deep as I could with individual experiences, to enrich my understanding of the contemporary issues for sex workers, and begin to identify key themes. My aim is to have a sample of 20 diverse sex workers to draw upon and I did this through two focus groups (now completed), two upcoming focus groups and the rest individual interviews. I estimated my interviews to go as long as two hours but much to my surprise many interviews went for about three hours, sometimes four.

I consulted with Starburst Insights to determine why our estimates for interview length were off and one explanation is that because I have such a diverse sample, many of the interviews are unique and unlike each other. Another explanation relates to neurodivergence. Majority of my participants fall under this category (as do I) and while my interviews are semi-structured, neurodivergent people communicate differently, and often make connections to topics laterally. I was happy to accommodate this style of communication as it aligned with my own. A further explanation relates to opportunity for expression. A lot of the time the topics that we discussed had never been discussed by the participant because of stigma and I felt listening, validating and giving space for my participants to express themselves was more important than cutting them off and sticking to the schedule. Many commented afterwards how relieved and acknowledged they felt after these interviews and I felt honoured to be entrusted with their story.

The only downside to all of this relates to my energy levels. While I am genuinely happy and enthusiastic to conduct these interviews and listen intensely, I am starting to feel like I am not respecting my own limitations and am feeling run down (again, to no one's fault but my own). I have noticed I am getting a bit irritated and short at times, I feel tired and my body hurts so consistently, I’m often taking painkillers back to back. This is an indication that I need more downtime to recover and replenish my energy. However, I’m pushing through until the end of the month because I want to finish these interviews by the end of August.

August taught me that community is key. I am, yet again, halfway through writing a different blog post, this time about my reflections on founding Red Files - what I would do differently if I had the chance to do it all again. One regret is that I was so focused on getting the infrastructure of Red Files right that I neglected to involve my peers in the process. When it came to launching Red Files, I naively thought that by building a house everyone would call it a home, when in reality no one felt they had ownership over it even though that was my intention all along. This Fellowship feels like an opportunity to correct my mistakes, which is partly why I am consulting so widely and making myself available to any sex worker.

Now, to review my activities:

• I had to organise my sample which is a lot more work than you think. I had to input over 100 expression of interests forms into a spreadsheet to illustrate differences in variables. Then I had to pick out 20 people that differed enough to represent the sex working community.

• I finalised my questions for the qualitative interviews, finalised the consent forms and began booking in and conducting interviews online and in person. So far I have spent 21 hours conducting interviews.                       

• I opened up my calendar for sex workers to connect with me informally. This was important to me because a recurring theme in my interviews was that many sex workers felt socially isolated. Opening my calendar and making myself available to sex workers was the least I could do to begin addressing this issue. It’s interesting to observe how I am helpful for others, because it’s often in ways that I do not acknowledge as valuable within myself. 

• I created a reference group as I felt I lacked ongoing support from my community. It just so happens that when you represent a whole industry, you begin to doubt yourself if you aren’t in constant contact with the people in your community. While I seem to have little trouble connecting with sex worker advocates overseas, or to experts in different fields, it was a different story with local sex worker advocates. Whenever I reached out to local sex worker advocates, they seemed to be unavailable, overworked, confused or gridlocked into bureaucracy because the framework of Australia sex work advocacy is hierarchical. What that meant for me is that no one felt they had authority to speak with me, even in a personal capacity, and I got passed around like a hot potato, with nobody taking responsibility to open up to me without an official permission. And for me to get official permission, I would need to send a formal proposal for consideration, and at this stage I feel asking for a casual dialogue would be a strange thing to seek official permission for. This may be a shortcoming of my autism, it may be that I had every right to ask for an audience, but my experience tells me this will not be received well, and I don’t want to come off as demanding (as I have experienced before). But without a dialogue with those who share the same values and experiences, I could be misguided, and when I make a mistake and plead ignorance, the response will be ‘well, you should have consulted with other advocates’. I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t, and I cannot access a way through this. For me, it feels that if you operate outside this hierarchical framework there is no clear avenue or access point to speak with local experts in a casual capacity and this was stressing me out. So I made a reference group of about 25 sex workers to help advise me on my day-to-day operations and I am grateful to have done this because this group has been an invaluable source of validation, support and love. More so than I could have imagined or felt I deserved. If you’d like to join this group, let me know!

• I met the support panel organised by the Myer Board, which is designed to help me four times in the year. This was an interesting experience for me because while the people on the panel were experts in their respective fields, none had experience with my industry, and I felt my communication style could have been better tailored had I not had this latent assumption that they shared my knowledge and experience. As it so happens, my knowledge about the industry is a lot more rich, nuanced and deeper than I give myself credit for, and most other people don’t have the same understanding as me. What that means is that I really need to meet people where they are at, and for me to access the amazing expertise this panel offers, I need to pick and choose how I present my industry and my work. This was a great experience to remind me that the onus is really on me to adapt my communication to match with my audience, because each audience is going to have a different understanding of the industry that may limit perception, while my knowledge can widen that perception should I deliver it in an accessible way.

• I continued to network with overseas sex workers, my mentors, a few local sex worker advocates, although I will admit I should be doing more in this area. There’s many more connections to be made, but I often find there are never enough hours in the day. Especially with so many interviews, I am feeling socially exhausted. 

• I met with the Department of Health and Worksafe and while I still have a lot to learn when navigating the government, I felt these meetings were positive. I felt my work was received well, although in future meetings I could be more clear in my communication about what I would like from them. I get the feeling they will listen to me intently if I present to them in a language consistent with their respective Departments. I have another meeting with Worksafe and I will set another one up with the Department of Health when I feel more confident and clear about the direction of my work.

• I met again with my local peer-organisation Vixen. This was my last option for an access point to connect with the body of Australia sex work advocacy, as Vixen is auspice by Scarlet Alliance, and even with this connection it was difficult. Typically, national items are managed by Scarlet Alliance, but as I mentioned earlier, there’s no clear access point for a casual dialogue outside of a formal proposal and so Vixen didn’t really feel they were well placed to assist me. But I explained my frustrations as I’ve explained it here and they were open to facilitating and opening up a dialogue for me, which I am grateful for. We have a follow up meeting schedule in a few weeks.

• I organised a feast called ‘Dining at the Y’ for sex workers in Melbourne. It was amazing, everyone was super supportive and many put their hand up to assist in organising further meets. I’m hoping to do a different community gathering every 3-4 weeks under the four themes: social, activity, creative or workshop/skill share.

• I have yet to complete these tasks but I have two more focus groups to run, one more interview and a pitch training session before the end of the month. I am also going to meet with RhED tomorrow!

September Forecast

The main forecast for September is that I will be flying to the motherland at some point. I’m hoping to complete all in-person necessary tasks (such as interviews) before then and once I can, I will go. I haven’t seen my family in 4 years or so and I miss them. I will keep chipping away at my project but I feel for September, there will be no need to maintain a physical presence. I will keep my calendar open for sex workers to connect with me, but the hours might be odd.

I was hoping my interviews would inspire the elimination process for prototypes but instead I’m finding it harder than ever to decide which prototypes to pursue. I need to create a decision-making process that identifies and ranks criteria’s because at the moment, they each have their strengths and weaknesses, but I don’t know what’s more important. Is feasibility superior to usability? Is impact of greater value than reach? September will be the time I spend making these assessments.       

Some things to look forward to:

• I will post about Project Respect, but I am giving them a chance to address some of my concerns before posting.

• I'll hopefully organise a new community gathering for every month until May next year. People can sign up at any point and see the RSVP list of everyone going to each event.

• I have a few more government departments I want to get in touch with and see how they’re responding to the decriminalisation of sex work in Victoria.

• I’m in the market for a co-founder. Once my Fellowship ends, I want to go back to my Masters of Public Health, but I need this product to be in safe and trusted hands. If you have any ideas of who would be a suitable co-founder, please let me know!

• Have interviews transcribed for visual data analysis.

• Sit down with my team to debrief about the interviews.

• Synthetise interview data to determine common themes and trends. I think I’m going to use something like MAXQDA or Nivovo to do this thematic analysis but I’ve never used these applications. I may have to spend time watching Youtube videos to get the hang of it. These applications will help ensure I have interpreted the data accurately as opposed to doing it manually by hand.

• De-identify and aggregate the data. I may draw a few verbatims or quotes. I feel like when I go into any further meetings with stakeholders, I will be speaking their language as I will be able to strengthen my claims with indisputable figures, graphs and percentages. At the moment, I’m confident with the majority of my claims, but I don’t have the evidence to support it.

• Summarise my data in a number of formats to demonstrate sex worker experiences to different audiences. I’m hoping I’ll be able to illustrate how sex workers experience safety, define the primary problems, barriers and struggles and present what they need and from whom. Although this is more work, I feel like if I limit myself to one form of data presentation, it may mean that stakeholders don’t take me seriously.

• Validate the findings of my research by creating and releasing a quantitative survey form. This will be an opportunity for other sex workers to contribute and add to my data and evidence base.

• Send an email out to those who filled expression of interest forms and invite them to collaborate, participate and provide direct feedback for prototypes.

• Do a one-pager for each prototype to better conceptualise each. I feel having it all on paper will assist me make clear and balanced decisions. I can write down different criteria’s and match it to the data to better understand how each scores.

• Make use of my volunteer testers for my prototypes, which I haven’t had a chance to since recruiting in July. These people will help me co-design and refine that one-pager.

• Analyse the data to see if there’s any other solutions I have not yet considered and explore potential prototypes. 

• Once I’ve chosen a prototype and I am able to justify my decision, I want to host a co-design session with sex workers and tech experts to determine the features, functions, design and feel of the product. This will then inform the scope of the final development. 

That’s it for now! If you require any further information about my doings, then please feel free to email me at mxestellelucas@gmail.com.